Today my birthday suit needs to be ironed regularly!
Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer!
My baby pictures weren’t taken on an iPhone
I’m still breathing and that’s the secret of longevity
So far, my birth certificate hasn’t expired
My supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size
I can now sing along with elevator music
People call me at 9 P.M. and ask, "Did I wake you???? "
I remember when the Dead Sea was just sick
The older I get, the earlier it gets late
I told someone to hang up the phone and they and they said they'd rather leave it on the desk
I get the urge to exercise and then, I lay down until it goes away
When I bend over, I look for something else to do while I'm down there
I can’t remember why I came into the kitchen
I’m thankful I did most of my stupid stuff BEFORE the internet was invented
I groan when I SIT, not just when I stand up
My chest has fallen into my drawers - The Furniture Disease?
What's a chest of drawers?
My Levis don't fit the way they used to
WAIT WAIT WAIT !...
You've been around HOW LONG???
More familiarly, I am ...
...going on 39
... tick-tock tick-tock